Dating etiquette who pays for what

Posted by / 15-May-2020 18:16

Parents of the groom need to discuss between themselves what help they are able, or want, to offer, before talking with the bride and groom.

While the couple should not expect anyone other than themselves to pay for the wedding, it is a kind gesture to offer financial help if you are able.

Changing attitudes in modern society have opened the doors up for parents of the groom to take on a larger role.

At modern weddings, the parents of the groom often take on a more active role in both the wedding planning and wedding itself.

Beyond the traditional financial expectations, parents of the groom who are able to offer additional financial help are often at a loss of how to do so.

In some cases, the couple or your son will approach you regarding finances.

Many of those rules are what etiquette experts call "gendered courtesies," or behavior guidelines that depend on your gender more than anything else. In general, Pachter said, "we want to use people's names if we have them." Some Googling can probably help with that.

We asked Senning and Barbara Pachter, author of "The Essentials of Business Etiquette," to tell us about some antiquated gendered courtesies and other etiquette rules that you don't need to follow anymore — and what you should do instead. On the other hand, Pachter said, "if you don't know the person's name, then you use a non-gender, non-specific term." She suggested: "Dear client" or "Dear [company X] representative." The salutation is important, she added, because "if somebody sends you an email [saying], 'Dear Sir,' what are they telling you? Therefore, why should you care what they have to say? Pachter said, "The new guideline is the host pays the bill, regardless of gender." Senning said this new guideline isn't so different from the old one — because the man almost always used to be the one who invited a woman on a date.

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Keep in mind they are doing this so they can budget properly, and that none of the parents are under any obligation to pay for their child's wedding.