Adult bookstore chat
Also, “the problem” takes up so much room that there’s little left for the partner’s issues or feelings, which seem “so trifling” in comparison with the big, dramatic issues (behaviors).
Addiction is self-diagnosed, which makes it something of an anomaly.
(Just as someone who drinks heavily every weekend may not be a full-blown alcoholic but does show tendencies.) So let me just suppose for a moment that we’re talking about either a compulsion or something on the “addictive spectrum.” Treating it like an addiction is probably most helpful to address the problem behaviorally and emotionally, even if it is more like an addictive “pattern” or low on the scale.
(Just like cancer, if you have a low-stage problem, you want to address it sooner rather than later!
At one point, years ago, he actually participated in some of the sexual activity there through "glory holes" some of the customers had made in the walls of the booths.
He has a lot of shame about the behaviors and I am very upset to find out that he still goes to those places, though he claims he stays away from the other people there now. Is there any kind of guidance you can give me about this?
It is a very valuable resource: Al-Anon is another terrific resource if no S-Anon meetings are available in your area.